he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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