just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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