is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
