I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
