At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
it glows. i had to have it.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
