I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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