There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize