Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
