Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Randomize
