and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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