areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
