im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
