i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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