...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
