I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
