My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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