I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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