Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
