Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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