He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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