So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
