Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
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She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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