Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
