don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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