He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
