i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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