I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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