Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
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