I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
