He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize