no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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