put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
