Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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