I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
