Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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