pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
