i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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