Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
