She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
