Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
