please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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