I would go down on you faster than GM stock
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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