We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
We had to coat check the pizza.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
