At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
