There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
