chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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