I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
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First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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