Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Randomize
