Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
