Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
