So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
