oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
