Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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