: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
