If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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