Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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