if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
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remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
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While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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