Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
She's the barista slut.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
