That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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