i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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