I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
